What He Fears: Desires Book 4 Page 10

“You want this.” It seemed impossible. Andrew, who stumbled into his life not long ago, who didn’t seem to know which way was up, who needed a friend, then something more. Andrew nodded, but that wasn’t good enough. Not this time. Not when Nick could scarcely breathe through his want. He needed this, needed the words, the absolute certainty that he wasn’t going to screw it up if he reached for it. His relationships with both men were a delicate balancing act, or maybe a trapeze, and Nick swung between the two men, needing to catch them both. He was terrified of failing, of everything he wanted slipping through his fingers and crashing down.

  “I want this.”

  Nick yanked Andrew to him and slanted his mouth over his. He cupped Andrew’s cheeks with his hands, teased his tongue into his mouth, breathed in the scent of his skin and the coffee on his tongue. He drank him in and imprinted the moment on his brain forever.

  The way Andrew’s day-old stubble scratched at his face when they kissed, the way he melted under Nick’s touch when he deepened the kiss. Nick thought for a moment that he might be dreaming, then a familiar hand brushed the back of his neck and Rory leaned down, his mouth hot on the shell of his ear.

  “Don’t be afraid to take what you need, Nicky. He’s your boy,” fingers carded through his hair. “Our boy. He wants to be, but he needs you to show him how.”

  Nick took a deep breath when his lips separated from Andrew’s and he looked for it again, fear, uncertainty, anything that would indicate that Andrew didn’t want this. Then Andrew reached for Nick. He laid both hands on Nick’s chest. His fingers dug into the flesh of Nick’s pectoral muscles.

  “Please, Nick.”

  Nick pulled him close again. He pressed their foreheads together and took a breath to steady himself. “Tell me what you need, Andrew.”

  “I want,” Andrew paused and Nick watched him close his eyes. Sometimes the truth was easier to face if you didn’t have to see it. “I want this. I want you. Both of you.”

  “Jesus, Andrew.” He clung to Andrew, making sure that he didn’t take his alarmed words the wrong way. “That’s something I definitely want, but I’m feeling a little lost right now. I’m not sure how I left you this morning, to have coffee with Rory and came home to the two of you looking very comfortable.” He brushed his lips against Andrew’s. “I absolutely want you, but right now I need to know how we got here.”

  Nick felt Rory sit down behind him. Rory wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned into him, pressing his cheek against Nick’s back.

  “Our friend and I have had quite the enlightening conversation today.”

  Nick watched Andrew’s face as Rory spoke. He catalogued the emotions as they flashed across Andrew’s features. Trepidation and unease when his gaze darted away from Nick’s. Embarrassment when scarlet slashed across his cheekbones.

  Nick waited, watched, his gaze darting down to where Rory reached past Nick. One of Andrew’s hands fell away from Nick’s chest and clung to Rory’s fingers. Nick stared at the contact as Rory explained, in detail, the events of the day. The awkward boner that led to the conversation in which Andrew discovered that he was likely demisexual. It made sense to Nick, how Andrew’s friendship had turned into feelings,which then turned into the explosive sex in the shower at the gym.

  “And you want this? Us? Me and Rory?” Nick’s body tensed. He fought the desire to pin Andrew to the floor and fuck him senseless.

  “Is that okay?”

  Nick didn’t attempt to hide the predatory smile that painted his face. “Andrew, it’s more than okay.” He forced himself to take a deep breath. “But are you sure? You’ve found out a lot about yourself in a fairly short amount of time. If you need to go slow, we can. I need this to work, Andrew. I need us to work.” He’d go as slow or as fast as Andrew needed him to go. He liked Andrew and the time they spent together. He didn’t want to lose either man.

  Andrew lifted his gaze and stared into Nick’s eyes. “It’s a lot, and if I said I wasn’t scared or nervous, I’d be a liar.” His hand skated up Nick’s chest. His fingers wrapped around the back of Nick’s neck. “I’m nervous. But I want this.”

  Nick wanted to ask if Andrew was sure about this. Carving the words into stone crossed his mind, but that would take too long. And now that the stars had finally aligned for him, he wanted to dive in and take what life offered. He didn’t want to wait and weigh the pros and cons and the consequences if all of this fell spectacularly apart.

  He seized the moment, and Andrew, and plunged his tongue into Andrew’s mouth. He pulled him closer. He wanted to feel him again. He was a wall of hard muscle and willing flesh. Andrew clutched him right back. His hands roamed up and down Nick’s back and his tongue battled with Nick’s as he tried to kiss him into submission.

  Nick plunged his hand into Andrew’s hair, gripped it, and kissed him harder before pulling away. Andrew’s lips stayed parted, his eyes were wide and wild. His red cheeks and slightly messy hair made Nick ache with the need to ruin him totally. He wanted to see Andrew on the other side of bliss where everything was soft and smooth and life was fuzzy around the edges.

  Andrew’s hand touched Nick’s thigh. He looked timid, but he licked his lips and his gaze darted down to Nick’s crotch, then back up to his face. “Can I?”

  “Fuck yes.”

  Nick’s enthusiastic response earned him a smile from Andrew, who moved over slightly so Nick could get comfortable. Rory also moved, and Nick’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when Rory took Andrew’s hand, then knelt on the floor. He tugged on Andrew’s arm and Andrew obeyed wordlessly, kneeling next to Rory. Nick looked down at the men, one slightly older, one slightly younger, both eager, both his.

  Nick watched Rory touch Andrew. He raked his fingers through Andrew’s hair. He stared at Nick until he spoke. “You’ve never done this have you, Andrew?”

  Andrew shook his head.

  “Do you want me to show you how?” Rory raked his fingers down through Andrew’s hair again and Nick watched Andrew shudder under Rory’s touch.

  Andrew nodded. “Yes.”

  The corner of Rory’s mouth twitched, and he moved his hand to cup Andrew’s chin. They were face to face, inches away from the other. “Yes, Sir.”

  There was silence for only half a beat before he said the words back to Rory. “Yes, Sir.”

  The words were like a green light to Nick’s brain. He spread his arms out across the back of the couch and stared at Andrew. “Undo my pants and slide them off.”

  Andrew’s touch wasn’t hesitant, like Nick had expected it to be. It was surprisingly steady as he popped Nick’s fly open and pulled the zipper down. He lifted his ass so Andrew could slide his pants down.

  Once they were off and tossed aside, Andrew raised his gaze and looked at Nick expectantly, waiting for his next instruction. Nick’s fingers dug into the back of the couch. “Touch me, Andrew. Put your mouth on me.”

  Nick’s cock twitched under his briefs as Andrew leaned forward. Nick reached down and brushed his fingertips through Andrew’s hair as the tip of Andrew’s nose touched Nick’s erection first. Then, wet heat poured through the fabric of Nick’s briefs as Andrew mouthed Nick’s cock through the fabric.

  “Touch him Andrew.” Rory commanded. He seized Andrew’s wrist and put his hand on Nick’s thigh. “Nick likes being touched.” Rory trailed a hand up Andrew’s back as he spoke. “Nick likes feeling worshipped.” Rory leaned closer to Andrew and looked up at Nick. “Isn’t that right, Nicky?”

  “God, yes. Please, Andrew, you need to touch me.” Nick begged, then he met Rory’s gaze and Rory raised an eyebrow, as if he sensed Nick’s turmoil. Caught between spaces, Nick wanted to dominate Andrew, but the urge to lay back and submit to Rory and let him steer the scene was more powerful. They’d have other times for Nick to play with Andrew. He could almost hear Rory’s gentle timbre in his mind, commanding him to use his boy, to take what he needed from Andrew. But for now, Rory was also right. Nick wanted to be worshipped, an
d Rory would teach Andrew how.

  “Take his cock out, Andrew.” Rory shuffled over a little so he was right next to Andrew. As Andrew worked on freeing Nick’s cock from his briefs, Rory reached up and ran his fingertip along the shell of his ear but looked straight at Nick. “Do you want me to help you, Andrew?”

  Nick groaned and stared up at the ceiling. He exhaled then forced himself to look at the beautiful men kneeling in front of him. It wasn’t a question of if Andrew wanted help, anyone could muddle through their first blow job. It was a question designed to pull Andrew in deeper, to acknowledge Rory’s authority in this situation. Nick wondered exactly what they’d talked about all day long. Then Andrew nodded and a quiet yes, sir slipped from his lips.

  Rory reached out and touched Andrew’s cheek. He used the two fingers to turn Andrew’s head, then leaned in and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss where lips touched and breath mingled and they both melted a little from the heat of it, then Rory pulled away and smiled at Andrew, “You’re a sweet boy, Andrew.” He glanced at Nick’s erection, that stood straight up like a flagpole. “He loves it when you lick him from root to tip.” Rory pecked Andrew on the lips again. “Try it.”

  Andrew leaned down and Nick held his breath as he licked a long, slow path up Nick’s cock. He didn’t stop, though, like Nick expected him to. He swirled his tongue around the head, lapping up a drop of pre-cum, before venturing back down Nick’s cock. And when Andrew swirled his tongue around the head again, Rory leaned in, captured the head between his mouth and Andrew’s, and kissed Andrew.

  “Fuck me.” Nick groaned and forced his eyes to stay open so he could see Rory and Andrew kiss with the head of his cock throbbing between their tongues. “Jesus.” He exhaled. His fingers twitched, and he gripped the couch cushion to keep himself from touching either man and breaking the spell.

  Their tongues battled, caressing each other, and Nick’s cock, until his breath came in ragged gasps and he couldn't keep quiet. Nick’s tortured moan filled the room, then Rory pulled away. Both men were breathless, red-faced, and stunning. Rory touched Andrew’s face, and Nick watched him lean into the touch. He knew how it felt to need more of that gentleness, to seek out more of Rory’s easily offered affection.

  “Wrap your hand around his cock, Andrew.” Rory looked at Andrew when he talked, except for the sly way he glanced at Nick from the corner of his eye, as if he were more interested in Nick’s reaction than Andrew’s. “Then put his cock in your mouth. Use your tongue, he likes that.” Rory swept his hand through Andrew’s hair. “And mind the teeth, they suck in a bad way.”

  That earned Rory a soft laugh. “That, I do know.”

  Nick had thought he was going to die when Andrew and Rory kissed, then again when their tongues battled around the head of his cock, but nothing compared to this. To being stripped open, flayed, his soul on display to Rory, who knew him better than anyone. Nick held Rory’s gaze as his dick was engulfed in the wet heat of Andrew’s mouth. The slow descent was torture. And bliss.

  Rory, in his element, was beautiful. His laser sharp focus was trained on Nick and Andrew. He urged Andrew with soft spoken commands. He rested one hand on Nick’s leg, the other on Andrew, and he kept Nick’s fear in check.

  Nick looked down at Andrew. Dark lashes fanned against his cheeks, which Nick watched hollow. When Nick groaned in appreciation, Andrew looked up at him. Those same dark lashes blinked and Nick’s fingers finally found the courage to touch Andrew. He caressed his cheek, never once breaking eye contact.

  He wanted to tell him that he was beautiful, and he started to, then he saw Andrew twitch. His eyes fluttered shut. His hands grazed up the sides of Nick’s bare legs. Nick watched his eyes scrunch shut. Rory had moved closer to Andrew, a slight, but steady movement in Rory’s shoulder gave him away. Nick couldn’t believe his eyes. Andrew’s mouth on his cock while Rory jacked Andrew.

  “Jesus. Andrew. Fuck.” Nick tamped down the urge to thrust his hips and fuck Andrew’s throat, but barely. He looked at Andrew as his orgasm neared and he knew what he wanted. He wanted to pin Andrew down and torment him. He wanted to lick every inch of him, taste his skin, tie him up, wrap his gorgeous body in rope then fuck him senseless. With the image of Andrew in his head, all trussed up and at his mercy, Nick cried out and came in Andrew’s mouth.

  Andrew tried valiantly to swallow everything, but he shuddered through his own orgasm. Nick’s cum leaked from the corners of his mouth and Andrew pulled off, gasping. His shoulders heaved as he tried to catch his breath.

  Andrew lifted the back of his hand to his face, presumably to wipe the cum off his chin, but Rory caught his hand. He looked at Nick from the corner of his eye, then licked the cum off Andrew’s chin before kissing him.

  Nick hoped the novelty of watching them kiss never wore off. His dick couldn’t possibly get hard again so soon, but it gave a valiant twitch when he watched Rory’s tongue slip inside Andrew’s mouth.

  Rory pulled away and gave Andrew a soft, affectionate look. “Good boy.”

  Andrew’s face turned a brilliant shade of scarlet and he looked away. “Do you have to say stuff like that?”

  Rory cupped his cheek. “Look at me.”

  Nick watched the exchange with rapt attention. Nick was used to watching Rory Dom, but only from a submissive’s point of view. He’d never watched Rory Dom when he wasn’t a participant in a scene. Nick knew he trained Doms and Subs, but they’d decided a long time ago to keep that part of Rory’s life separate from their relationship.

  Neither Nick nor Rory were overly jealous, in fact, watching Rory on the dance floor, groping and grinding, was one of Nick’s favorite things. But there was a difference between watching a twink on the dance floor grind himself all over Rory and watching some naked boy in a club steal glances at his Dom. He could see the hunger in their faces. Rory was a one of a kind Dom, and he was Nick’s, and every single one of those little subs knew that Nick wasn’t enough and they all wanted to step in and take his place.

  But watching Andrew with Rory was different because Andrew wasn’t trying to force Nick out. Andrew had done the impossible, he’d bridged the gap in Nick’s relationship with Rory. Rory stroked a hand down the side of Andrew’s face. Nick watched Rory’s thumb trace a path across Andrew’s cheekbone.

  “There’s a lot you don’t know, Andrew, and that’s okay. Everyone starts somewhere. But yes, I have to tell you when you’re a good boy.” Andrew’s blush spread and Rory smiled. “When you’re good, you earn praise. When you’re bad, you earn punishment. Do you like hearing that you were good, Andrew?”

  Andrew nodded, and though it seemed impossible, his blush deepened.

  “That’s why I say it. Because you need to know that you’re good, Andrew. Now climb up on the couch and give Nick a kiss and show him how much you liked what we did.”

  Nick’s grin spread from ear to ear as he watched Andrew rise from the floor. He seemed a little self conscious, so Nick reached out and grabbed him and hauled him into his lap. It took him a few moments to get comfortable, but when he did, he tentatively touched Nick’s stubble covered chin.

  “I do believe, you were told to kiss me.” Nick narrowed his gaze at Andrew, and did an internal victory dance, when he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Nick’s. As soon as Andrew pulled away, Rory caught Nick’s chin and kissed him briefly.

  “Get our boy into the shower while I get dinner ready.”

  Nick grinned and waited for Andrew to climb off him before standing and tugging him to the shower.

  Our boy.

  Nick could get used to that.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rory

  Rory could tell by the gait that it was Nick who entered the kitchen. He peeked in the oven, shutting the door as Nick wrapped his arms around his waist. He nuzzled Rory’s neck, humming in appreciation as he pulled Rory closer.

  “Enjoy your shower?”

  “Mmm. Yes.” Nick kissed Rory’s neck.

&n
bsp; “How’s Andrew? Is he adjusting okay? Today was a pretty big day for our boy.”

  “He seems fine. I asked him if he needed time to adjust and he wasn’t exactly keen on that idea.” Nick nipped at Rory’s earlobe. “He likes you. I like that he likes you.” Nick purred his approval in Rory’s ear.

  “I like that he likes me, too. I like him, too.”

  Nick chuckled softly, his fingers brushing over Rory’s half hard cock. “I can tell.”

  “That’s enough of that, Nicky.” Rory rolled his shoulder, shrugging out of Nick’s embrace. “I need to get dinner on the table.”

  Any worry Rory had about Andrew and how well he was adjusting to the events of the day vanished when he sauntered into the room, freshly showered and dressed in Nick’s clothing. He went up to Nick and brushed a quick kiss against his lips. “Can you believe he wanted to dry me off?” Andrew sounded lighter and happier. He appeared to be more relaxed than he’d been earlier.

  “Nicky wanted to take care of you, because you took care of him. You should’ve let him. He’d have liked it.”

  “And who takes care of you?”

  Perhaps the question wasn’t supposed to be loaded, but then again, Rory did see a glimmer of something in Andrew’s eyes that indicated that it might not have been meant all that innocently. He took the gamble. “Nicky does, when I allow it. I could let you, later, if you wanted. You were a good boy after all.”

  Rory spent the better part of the day talking about limits and roles in BDSM relationships with Andrew, but on a general level. They hadn’t yet sat down and discussed in detail, between the three of them, how things were going to work. The conversation would have to happen sooner, rather than later, because the idea of having two boys on their knees was intoxicating. And not any two boys, these two men in particular, who looked at each other with passion and fondness and who let Rory have a little piece of that.

  The conversation Rory intended to initiate didn’t happen after dinner, either. Curled up together on the couch, Andrew fell asleep nestled between them. He leaned against Nick, his head resting on Nick’s chest. Rory watched Nick glance down at Andrew and the obvious fondness there made him smile.