What He Needs (Desires Book 1) Read online

  Table of Contents

  What He Needs

  DEDICATION

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  What He Needs

  Desires Book One

  By

  E. M. Denning

  DEDICATION

  For Shaw

  Chapter One

  Craig

  He shouldn’t be nervous. He’d done it before. He’d walked into clubs before and never felt the sickening swirl of his stomach as its contents prepared for launch. Craig swallowed, then popped another antacid into his mouth and chewed it up.

  He could do this. He needed to do this. He normally hated the club atmosphere, but it had pleased Tim to take him places and show him off, and if he hoped to move on he needed this. He had needed to get over Tim. He needed someone who would give him the things Tim gave him and there was only one kind of place where you were guaranteed to meet the kind of person Craig needed to meet. Tails had a reputation as a popular kink club. Tim had never taken him to this club, and Craig hoped that he’d be able to go in there. He’d tried to visit a different club a few weeks ago, but couldn’t make it past the bouncer.

  It was a place he’d frequented with Tim and the bouncer recognized him on sight. He looked at him with those big, sympathetic brown eyes and Craig’s insides liquefied. He quickly lost his nerve and hurried back the way he came. Everyone understood what happened to him, well, everyone in that circle knew. It was why he hadn’t talked to any of his former kink friends since Tim left him. Maybe if he did, he could at least figure out what he did to drive Tim away. Perhaps he could find out why he came home from work one day to find all of Tim’s stuff gone.

  Craig cursed himself and wiped away an errant tear. He needed someone to get him out of his head before he lost his mind completely. Tim had been perfect for him. Roommates at first, then friends, then lovers. One fateful night they stumbled into something more; something that took everything they had together and made it all that much better and more powerful and meaningful. Or so Craig thought.

  They spent a year together exploring the lifestyle. Both newbies, they muddled through a little on their own before Tim insisted they join a club and do it right. Everything seemed perfect. Tim was a good Dom. Sure, he made a few newbie mistakes, but Craig made some mistakes as a first time sub. Despite the times they stumbled, discovering his need for submission had to be the best thing that ever happened to Craig. Even when Tim wanted things that Craig didn’t feel comfortable with, he still relished belonging to him. Craig figured that even though they were out of sync to begin with that over time they’d get better at the whole Dom/sub dynamic of their relationship.

  Then Tim left.

  Now, eighteen months later, Craig’s life was a wasteland, and he had tired of it. Tired of being tired. Tired of being angry and miserable and feeling like a total failure. He needed to get out of his head. He needed to break the sick cycle of thinking that had him awake most nights.

  Craig stepped out of the cab a few blocks from the club and walked the rest of the way. He kept his head down and stuffed his hands in his pockets and returned to the club he’d visited a few days ago to set up a membership.

  Most places used the same basic set up, go in one door, sign in while they reminded you of the basic rules, gave you a color-coded club standard BDSM wrist band indicating Dom or a sub, available or unavailable. Then you got to enter the world of kink unfettered.

  Craig hated places like these, but they were better than meeting someone on a random app. He didn’t like the idea of meeting a complete stranger who liked to tie people up. At least the club provided a controlled environment with people employed to keep their patrons safe.

  It was little comfort.

  Craig ordered a juice from the bar and looked around. He’d already been here once, for a few minutes, but during the day when the place was empty. Now it crawled with leather covered studs of all varieties. Craig raked his eyes over the crowd and took a deep breath. In a minute he’d get up the courage to throw himself into the fray. He drank his juice first, sipped it slowly until he emptied the glass. When he’d returned the glass, he took a deep breath. In another minute he’d slip into his sub mindset and maybe then a hot Dom would approach him and make him soar and forget about Tim.

  Tim, whose eyes met his.

  Tim, who he hadn’t seen in eighteen months stood ten feet from him. He looked at Craig with wide eyes and a slack jaw. Someone next to Tim put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in. That’s when Craig noticed the thick, black collar around Tim’s neck.

  Tim had a Dom.

  Tim was a sub.

  Before Craig could wrap his mind around Tim being a sub, or a switch, or there, ten feet from him, Tim moved closer. Craig stood stock still like a cornered rabbit, too afraid to move.

  The juice in Craig’s stomach churned. He didn’t understand anything anymore. He’d avoided all the clubs Tim used to drag him to for this exact reason. It wasn’t fair. Tim left him and now, the one time he’d gathered the courage to enter a club, Tim not only turned up, but as a fucking sub. A collared sub with a mammoth-sized Dom.

  Only a few feet from him, Tim stopped. His master’s hand lay on his shoulder and Craig’s fist tightened. The fact that Tim had a master enraged him as much as it confused him.

  “Craig. It’s good to see you. How are you?” Tim smiled, but Craig knew him well enough to know that it was fake, as fake as the rest of him. Betrayal fuelled Craig’s anger. He wanted to be anywhere but here.

  “Go fuck yourself.” Craig turned to leave, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

  “You’re a nasty little sub, aren’t you? That’s my boy you swore at and I expect you to apologize.”

  Craig spun around and knocked the Dom’s hand off his shoulder. “Don’t touch me. I’ll talk to him however I want. I may be a sub, but I’m not your sub.”

  Tim didn’t say anything. He stood there and let his master grab at Craig and bark at him to apologize and he stood there and watched with complete disinterest. As if Craig never mattered to him at all.

  Craig glared at Tim as angry tears sprang to his eyes. He didn’t care if Tim saw him cry, it wouldn’t be the first time. “You’re a piece of cowardly shit.”

  “I told you not to talk to my boy like that.”

  Craig flinched at the Dom’s voice. Powerful and commanding, the tone was also edged with a bit of anger. Craig took a step back. “Screw you.” He knew he shouldn’t get so mouthy with a Dom, but his heart hammered as his vision blurred. At the same time, he couldn't catch his breath. Worse, his brain didn’t appear to be in control of his mouth anymore and he heard himself yell. “Screw you and screw him too.” Craig turned to leave, but the Dom caught his arm.

  Before he could wonder what would happen next, another man came over and pulled the Dom’s hand off Craig’s arm.

  “What’s the trouble over here?” He had to be a Dom. Not as tall or as wide as Tim’s giant of a man, he oozed a certain presence and had to be important because the angry Dom suddenly curbed his attitude.

  “This little sub here seems to have a problem with my boy. They exchanged words and I want him to apologize.”

  “Fuck you, you shit.” Craig’s voice cracked. “And fuck him too.” Craig panted, and fre
sh tears streamed down his cheeks. The other Dom appeared to be trying to spin it to make him look like the bad guy, and he might be, but all he wanted to do was leave. The guy should’ve let him go.

  A hand touched his shoulder. “Kneel down, boy.”

  Craig dropped to his knees without giving it a thought. He didn’t dare disobey that voice. That deep, smooth baritone that didn’t bark at him to obey as the first Dom had done, but commanded obedience nonetheless.

  The Dom put a hand on Craig’s head and smoothed his fingers through his short brown hair. “Breathe, boy. Just breathe.”

  Craig no longer obeyed on instinct alone. He found himself wanting to please the man who came to his rescue.

  “What’s going on here?”

  Craig heard the Dom start to answer, but he got cut off by the second Dom. “I want to hear it from your boy. What did you say to him to upset him?”

  “Nothing, Sir.” Tim almost stammered.

  “Nothing?” Craig heard the total disbelief in the Dom’s voice. “Didn’t look like nothing.” The Dom stroked his fingers through Craig’s hair and Craig took another deep breath, one that somehow helped release the pressure on his lungs. “One minute the boy is at the bar, then you come sauntering over and he goes ten shades whiter and I want to know why.”

  “I was only saying hello.” Tim mumbled, and Craig stiffened. He wanted to get to his feet and punch him in the face. Or grab him and demand answers. Or run away. Then the gentle fingers continued stroking his scalp; he understood the silent command and forced himself to relax.

  “I think it was more than that.” A tense silence followed, and part of Craig wanted to lift his head so he could see what was going on, but he kept his head bowed and his eyes lowered. He knew that if he looked at Tim, he’d lose it all over again. “I’m going to insist that you leave this sub alone from now on.”

  “But…”

  “Do not argue with me, boy.” When the second Dom spoke to Tim in that tone, Craig’s blood heated with arousal. “The boy is obviously distressed and whatever the reason, you’re the cause. Do not approach him again. Get your boy out of here, Paul, he’s pissing me off and so are you. I better not hear so much as a whisper that you’ve talked to, looked at or approached this boy in any manner. Do you get me?”

  Silence.

  “Come on, boy. Time to play.”

  Craig lifted his gaze enough to watch two sets of feet turn and leave. Then he buried his face in his hands.

  The hand that had been playing with his hair smoothed down his back. “You okay, boy?”

  Craig couldn’t respond. His throat squeezed shut with despair. He shook his head instead.

  “It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.” Craig didn’t protest as the Dom pulled Craig to his feet. Shame burned through him and he bowed his head to hide his tear stained face. He couldn’t believe that he lost it in front of everyone. Craig melted into the warmth offered by the Dom’s arm when it slid around his waist. He found himself being led into the back through an area that was marked employees only. The noise in the club faded a bit, then all but disappeared when the Dom kicked a door shut behind them.

  The Dom took a seat on an oversized sofa and pulled Craig down next to him. He slipped his fingers through Craig’s hair and cradled him against his chest. Despite his efforts to compose himself, Craig broke down. He clutched the Dom and let the tears come. He whispered soothing words to Craig and when his sobs softened, and his breathing evened out, he didn’t disobey the sweet Dom when he gave him one more command.

  “Sleep, boy. I’ve got you.”

  Chapter Two

  Alan

  Alan clocked the boy the minute he’d set foot in the club. He looked not only shy and unsure, but half terrified, and that was before Paul and Tim approached him. Then the kid went white as a sheet. Alan didn’t know exactly what happened, but the minute the boy knocked Paul’s hand off his shoulder, he knew he’d have to step in.

  By the time he’d dislodged himself from another over-eager sub looking to get him back into the scene, and made his way over to the trio, the kid was already falling to pieces. He had to admire him though; he thought as he raked his fingers through the boy’s short hair. He’d been totally unwilling to take shit from Paul. He could still hear the venom in the words he’d hurled at the pair. Whatever had gone on between them, it started long before tonight.

  Alan leaned back and kept the boy cradled against his chest. Whoever he was, this boy was exhausted, probably lost and wounded, probably by Paul’s sub. There had to be a history there, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what. Paul and Tim first appeared separately about two years ago. They did a few scenes together, then they entered into a trial contract. The Dom collared Tim eighteen months ago. Where the kid came into the picture, he had no idea.

  Wherever he fit in, and whoever he was, Alan intended to find out. A sweet looking boy, with long eyelashes, pale skin, and brown hair. The sub had a tight body, not too tall, great ass. Alan wanted to know his name. He wanted to make him smile, and beg, and let go of the hurt that weighed him down.

  Alan felt the boy stir in his arms. He looked down at the boy who looked up at him with sleepy, red-rimmed eyes. They were as brown as his hair and filled with infinite and equal amounts of anger and sadness.

  “How are you feeling, boy?”

  The boy made no move to dislodge himself from Alan’s arms, so he carded his fingers through the boy’s hair again.

  “I’m a little better, Sir.”

  God, that word was music on that kid’s lips. Compared to Alan he was a kid. He couldn’t be more than twenty-five. Alan had reached thirty-five and was careening head first, full speed ahead toward forty.

  “What’s your name, boy?”

  “Craig, Sir.”

  Alan took a deep breath. He had to play this just right. “My name is Alan. Did you drive here, Craig?”

  “No, Sir. I took a cab.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  The boy chewed on his lower lip for a minute. “A little, Sir.”

  “Okay, then here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to send someone for your coat and we’re going to slip out the back and head down the street to my friend’s restaurant. When we get there, we'll eat, and when you’re ready, you’re going to tell me what happened out there.” Alan felt Craig stiffen. “I’m sorry, but I really must insist. If there’s a problem in my club, or with one of my members, I need to know. It’s my responsibility to keep everyone safe. Do you understand?”

  Alan forced himself to remain calm despite his heart hammering against his ribs and his stomach doing loop-the-loops. He feared that any second the spell this too-beautiful-to-be-true boy was under would break and Craig would scramble out of his arms.

  Then the kid nodded and if Alan weren’t desperately straining to hear any stray syllable that slipped out of Craig’s lips, he might have missed the very quiet, Yes, Sir.

  “Good boy.” Alan didn’t miss the spark of satisfaction in Craig’s eyes at those words. He dragged his thumb over Craig’s cheek. His cock took an interest a long time ago, but it was his whole body that twitched when Craig leaned into his touch. He wet his lips. “I’m going to have to move you for a minute, boy. I’m going to call for your jacket and then we’ll go, okay?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Craig didn’t move. He seemed content in Alan's arms as he waited. With reluctance, Alan let go of Craig. But he smoothed a hand through the boy’s hair before standing. He wondered why he couldn’t seem to stop touching him. Sure, he was beautiful, but Alan had been around a long time. He’d seen plenty of beautiful subs before. Subs far nicer looking than Craig who looked a bit too pale and far too tired for his liking.

  Alan shot a quick text to his doorman and requested him to find Craig’s jacket and bring it to the back.

  The jacket arrived a moment later and Craig slid into it. Unlike a lot of subs, Craig had shown up fully dressed. That alone brought him t
o Alan's attention. In a sea of leather and skin, a beautiful young man in a shiny black shirt stood out. And it added to the mystery. Not only was Alan desperate to know who Craig was and how he knew Tim and Paul, but he wanted to find out what lay under the shirt. Alan wanted to understand what caused the hurt he saw in his eyes and the exhaustion that seeped out of him.

  “This way, boy.” Alan knew he should stop calling him that, but he’d been so angry when Paul put his hands on the boy that his inner Dom had kicked into high gear and he could barely keep the voice in his head at bay that wanted to chant mine mine mine mine mine.

  “No one will see us, right, Sir?”

  Alan put his hand on Craig’s shoulder. “That’s right. If they are still around, they won’t be back here.” Alan smiled when Craig relaxed a little and let himself be led out of the building and around the corner until they were back onto the still busy street.

  He took Craig to The Dragon’s Den and with a nod to the hostess, they got seated immediately. Alan’s friend kept a table reserved for him at all times. He and Steve went all the way back to high school, and it worked out nicely now. Alan always had a reservation at one of the hottest restaurants in the city, and Steve didn’t have to pay for his membership at Alan’s club.

  The man himself appeared a moment later. He flicked his gaze to Craig, who had stripped out of his jacket, and Alan shook his head. They had a silent conversation the way only the best of friends can.

  He yours?

  No, but don’t touch.

  Got it.

  “Long time no see.” Steve beamed. He ignored Craig as per Alan’s silent warning and pulled his friend into a hug. “You’re lucky you got dibs, he’s hot.” He whispered in Alan’s ear.

  “I’ll explain later,” Alan whispered back. He pulled out of the hug and sank into the chair opposite Craig. “Can we get two ice waters and a couple of bacon double cheeseburgers.” The restaurant didn’t even serve burgers, but Steve insisted they made them special for Alan.